“You Make My Heart Beat Faster”

by graceelena on October 25, 2013


Here’s the thing. I spend a lot of time telling people I am not a romantic. I actually waste my breath sharing my absolute hatred of romantic comedies (true) and roll my eyes and groan when someone talks about romance. I am a romantic curmudgeon and I want everyone to know about it.

Except…

I’m really not. I’m sure most of you reading this are now rolling your eyes and groaning because you have always known the truth. It’s not that hard to figure out. How many times have I written about romance here?

Seriously. I cry at all the Story Corps episodes about love. I watch all the sappy proposal videos and cry at those too. I search for poems about love and swoon when the poets get it right.

So why the desire to be seen as romantic curmudgeon? Because when I think of women and romance there is one word that immediately comes to mind: weak.

Maybe it’s the endless stream of romantic comedies with men committing unforgivable acts yet still winning the women back with a grand gesture. Maybe it’s growing up in a house with a tough mom who truly isn’t much of a romantic–or at least doesn’t seem to be. Maybe it’s because of how vulnerable I feel when I let romance into my life. Whatever the reason, that’s the word I think of and that word I spend a lot of time avoiding.

Recently I was confronted with my terrible attitude. I thought about it. Over and over. I realized that I need to get over it. I need to be willing to let my guard down sometimes. I don’t always need to be perceived as strong. And enjoying romance does not in any way make a woman weak. In many ways it can make her a stronger, more loving, caring, and open person. That’s something I fully support.

There you have it. I like sweet, romantic gestures. My heart beats faster when someone I care about takes the time to do something thoughtful. I love surprises. And from now on, I’m going to be more open to random acts of love.

 

{ 1 trackback }

The Greatest Love of All
November 15, 2013 at 09:39

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Simone October 26, 2013 at 00:16

I can relate to this one thousand percent because I am exactly the same way – a full out closeted romantic.

[Reply]

Reply

marilu November 5, 2013 at 14:32

hi there, i was following your posts during your bar prep because i will be takign it soon too. how are you feeling with the results coming out so soon?

[Reply]

graceelena Reply:

I feel great. I decided early on that I passed. If I don’t pass then I will deal with it when it comes. I’d rather be happy now.

[Reply]

Varas, marilu Reply:

@graceelena,
that’s awesome =) i hope to be this strong too =)

[Reply]

graceelena Reply:

I’m sure you will be! Good luck with studying and the exam!

Reply

Betty Limon November 16, 2013 at 13:18

Grace!! Of all the people to deny being a romantic!! You live your life with so much passion and commitment to your life plans-how can this not transcend into your plan for love. Don’t let your guard down-loving with passion means having a high standard and commitment to excellence. Goodness you are such a catch-loving you is going to be easy and it better be fireworks and gorgeous babies!!! LOL!!! I can’t wait to see you celebrate that phase of your life!!!

[Reply]

graceelena Reply:

@Betty Limon, You always bring tears to my eyes in the very best way! Thank you so much, Betty. I won’t settle for anything less than fireworks and adorable babies. :)

[Reply]

Reply

Rafael November 18, 2013 at 12:13

Yup…that’s about the size of it. Glad you see it that how you love is inexorably tied to your perceptions and prejudices. I thought you might enjoy some of these for your quote book.

“Once we know our weaknesses they cease to do us any harm.” – Georg C. Lichtenberg

“The Southerner is usually tolerant of those weaknesses that proceed from innocence.” – Flannery O’Connor

“Inside every woman, is a crazy girl. And we all know what I’m talking about. That part of you that is entangled with insecurities, fears, and absolute insanity! The art of femininity lies in the molding, pounding, and defeating of that crazy girl on a daily basis! Look at any woman, and you’re looking at a woman fighting a daily battle, wielding her weapons in war, every day! I have said it before and I’ll say it again: it is never easy being a woman! And if we could only pound that crazy, insecure girl out of ourselves, it would make such the difference!”
― C. JoyBell C.

“Patience is the antidote to the restless poison of the Ego. Without it we all become ego-maniacal bulls in china shops, destroying our future happiness as we blindly rush in where angels fear to tread. In these out-of-control moments, we bulldoze through the best possible outcomes for our lives, only to return to the scene of the crime later to cry over spilt milk.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

And a personal favorite of mine if you submit to ANY universal power:
“[He] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I think that last one is the REAL reason I am an ass-kicker!

Having strength has never been an issue for you and can never be denied. But it will be all the richer an experience for you when you accept that you don’t have to prove it. It just is what it is.

I am happy to see you working it out. May you have peace in your endeavors, romantic or otherwise, and – through each and every inevitable storm that forces you to question your security and value – joy.

LPC

[Reply]

graceelena Reply:

That last paragraph. Your words. That’s what I want in my book.

[Reply]

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: