My friends and I are at various stages of the dating game. I’m surrounded by girlfriends that fit every stage. Recently single, single and hiding, new to on-line dating, casual dating, a few months in to a new relationship, happily in love, and others like me who are just crushing.

Many of our conversations lately have revolved around the topic of dating. We are all very different and rarely agree on an attractive guy or type of guy but one thing is abundantly clear–we over think everything.

I don’t know if this is because we are type-A law students, lack patience, are women, or if it is a combination of all three. What I do know is that we do it all the time. Even as I type this I’ve thought of five more reasons for why we might over-think things. HELLLLOOOOOO! I’m doing it right now!

Clearly trying to think of “why” is not going to help us relax and go with the flow.

Instead I’ve decided to try another tactic. Here I am in my last semester of law school with an abundance of time–except not really. I have ten unobstructed days for studying, but that’s still not that much. I still have to create outlines for my classes, complete practice problems, and memorize material. For two classes, that’s a good amount of work for ten days.

However, I’m in my last semester of law school. I’m not breaking records with my GPA and I have an entire summer of intense bar studying to look forward to. With the bar quickly creeping up on me I need to use this time to prepare.

Here’s my plan: Spend six to eight hours a day studying, one hour completing a chore, and then have fun. REAL FUN. Not lounging in front of the tv. I’m talking going on an adventure, watching a play or symphony performance, cooking a fancy meal, dancing, visiting the first five places that start with the letter A in the phone book and learning something new.

My tactic is to fill my life with so much awesome that I can’t possibly sit and over think my potential dating situation or my friends dating situations. Instead our lives will be so fun that we won’t even think about checking our phones.

It’s going to be awesome. 

When I was fifteen I became best friends with Danielle. I met her at summer camp and we spent the next few years sending letters to each other every week. We sent quite a few mix tapes too. One in particular was my favorite. It was choppily put together with some long delays and others so quick that the end of one song was cut off by the beginning of the other–the true sign of a good mix tape.

This particular tape had a song I loved. I remember listening to the tape once on a family road trip. My parents, brother, and a couple cousins were with me. I popped in the mix tape and Rufus Wainright’s velvety voice began to sing, “I don’t want no one to love me just give my sex whenever I want it. All I want is instant pleasure, instant pleasure, instant pleasure.” My older cousins looked visibly mortified but I happily proclaimed my love for the song. At fifteen the lyrics didn’t have any real significance to me.

Tonight I was reminded of the song but not for the reasons you might think. In this age of smart phones and social media, we are hooked in all the time. We, in fact, have instant pleasure. Maybe not sexually (I guess it depends on what you are doing) but anything we want is at our fingertips. This instant pleasure is becoming so ingrained in us that when we have to wait for something we don’t like it. Whether it is standing in line at the grocery store or waiting for someone to return a call or text, we are growing more and more impatient.

I’ve always been a bit impatient but in the sense that I don’t like indecisiveness and if I can figure out a solution to a problem I am going to fix it right away. When it comes to being patient with people and understanding the needs of others, I am top notch.

But now, this instant pleasure world is changing things. Suddenly I am noticing that I am more annoyed with slow responses or when customers in front of me ask too many questions. It’s not a constant problem but it’s happening more often than I’d like.

Currently I have a little big crush. This has come at the worst time because I am currently in the middle of the finals whirlpool. I am swimming as fast as possible to keep from sinking yet I still want to attempt to cram in time with my crush. I have to remind myself that I am busy. I need to study. You might be thinking that this has nothing to do with an instant pleasure world, the nature of a crush is that it is all consuming, but I don’t think that’s it for me. I think my ability to have most things, and most importantly, communication, whenever I want makes it hard for me to take a step back and take things slow. To let things happen at a regular–pre-instant pleasure pace. I think this is good for me. It’s a challenge I didn’t know I needed. Plus, the fact that this crush is more unplugged and actually focused on school and work is incredibly attractive.

I am reminded today to remember why I loved writing letters and sending mix tapes to Danielle. It was the slow steady process of writing pages and pages of letters. Carefully drawing pictures and placing stickers in the perfect spot. The time consuming task of choosing songs and playing each one through while carefully monitoring the progress to hit stop at  just the right moment. The butterflies that  filled my stomach as I checked the mail each day in hopes of receiving a brightly decorated envelope. On the days I got one I burst with joy and carefully read over every word; many times over. The process, the anticipation, and the pure joy.

yes. I remember those feelings. I am glad someone is bringing me back.

A couple weeks ago I spent a weekend with friends in the mountains. There were about twenty of us in a cabin talking, playing games, and having dance parties. Some of these friends I hadn’t seen in years. It was fantastic.

At some point during the evening shenanigans I lost my Sugar chapstick. Maybe it was when I was showing off my signature dance move or perhaps when I was acting as narrator for a rousing game of “werewolf” or maybe it was when I shimmied into my pjs while on the top bunk at 3:30 a.m. Regardless, I lost my sugar chapstick.

This may not mean a lot to some but for others you know the significance of the loss. This is $25 chapstick my friends. I was devastated and immediately went searching for it much to the chagrin of my UU, hippie, want-for-nothing friends. Actually, they were very helpful and non-judgmental but I felt really silly admitting I buy expensive chapstick.

Thankfully it was found shortly after I left and was promptly mailed to me. But it got me thinking about luxuries. Spending $25 on chapstick is certainly a luxury. It’s my one splurge. In fact, I received a sample and went more than 8 months obsessing over it before finally deciding to spend the money.

There are several little things that I would love to splurge on but I don’t because I’m in school and don’t have the money for such excess. Plus, I start to feel guilty about spending lots of money on little things. The thing is, most of the time I don’t spend much money. I treat others often, I donate regularly at church, I give back when I can. So maybe it’s ok to spend a little more money here and there? Especially on things that I really like.

What I’m really saying is I’ve been dying to try the $20 Hawaiian coffee at Trader Joe’s. Valentine’s gift anyone?

In Mexico on your birthday people sing Las Mañanitas to you. If you are lucky you will wake up to a cute boy standing outside your window serenading you with the song. This happened to one of my tías. Except it wasn’t her birthday. The guy doing the serenading didn’t know that his aunt (the real birthday girl) had moved only a week before. My tía didn’t mind.

A few months ago I found this picture of pancakes with birthday candles. Birthday pancakes. Such a simple idea yet I’d never thought of it. Pancakes are already good but adding candles? That’s nearly perfect.

My birthday is on January 6th. Dia de los Reyes. This means that most of my birthdays involve all of my family coming over to celebrate my birthday and the three kings arriving in Bethlehem to bestow the baby Jesus with gifts. Of course, my family likes to do things differently so each year three family members are dressed like kings and they give me birthday gifts. Sometimes my mom makes my male cousins say things like, “women are smarter than men” as they give me each gift. It works out well, I think.

This birthday I will be 27 years old. This is exciting not just because I have lived another glorious year but because I will finally be telling people my correct age. You see, I tend to inflate my age. Not on purpose. Twenty-seven just has a nice ring to it.

Twenty-seven also feels older and wiser. This birthday feels different. It feels more important somehow. I want to do something different this year.

I want to wake up to someone singing me Las Mañanitas. I want birthday pancakes and a latte with just the right amount of sweetness and foam. I want to walk to the farmers market and pick up lovely flowers. I want surprises, maybe a hot air balloon, or a trip to UCSD to learn more about the kazoo. I want to spend time outside. I want hugs–lots of them. I want to laugh until I can’t breathe. I want music, maybe dancing too. I want everything and anything. I want to feel happy.

This last part is key. Lately I have been a bit down in the dumps. There is a lot going on right now. I think it is a combination of being overwhelmed with school, being unsure of the future, and trying to find my way through complicated relationships. I know that soon I’ll shake it off. Maybe after a few good workouts and probably a long cry but I’m not sure that will be enough before the 6th. So here I am hoping that I can put everything else on hold for a day and be happy–really happy.

I wonder what would happen today if someone accidently serenaded the wrong woman? I hope it would make her smile. I know I’d smile.

Whenever I ask my mom about whether or not I should do something fun she always says “yes.” Should I extend my vacation a day so I can go to a dance party and take a red eye home and go straight to work from the airport? Yes. There’s a blogger weekend in Las Vegas in May, should I go? Yes. Should we get dessert? Yes. The answer is always yes.

A few years ago my mom had this epiphany about life. She decided that it doesn’t make sense for the older people to have all the money. We work our whole lives to have the money to take vacations that we are then too old to truly appreciate and enjoy. This realization has led to her being extra generous and always encouraging me to do fun things. I’m young. This is the time.

My moms birthday is this Thursday, May 10th, (also Mother’s Day in Mexico, so if you know any Mexican mothers tell them “feliz dia de las madres!”) . On Friday I am driving to Palm Springs to spend the weekend with her. We are going to go shopping, make a dress for Las Vegas, and have a Mother’s Day brunch. It’s going to be a busy but joyous weekend. There may even be a new baby–my prima is due on the 10th with her fifth child!

Sunday night I get home and enter into a whirlwind three days of studying for two weeks worth of classes, packing for Las Vegas, hyperventilating over Las Vegas (seriously, my eye has been twitching for days. I need to relax) and interning during the day. I arrive in Las Vegas late Wednesday. And then…well, then I have the most awesome weekend ever with 59 other bloggers.

I return home from Las Vegas on Monday and go straight to work (see Mom advice above). I then proceed to repeat the three days prior to Las Vegas because on Thursday morning I am flying to St. Louis. Yup. Three crazy weekends in a row. A dear friend of mine invited me to St. Louis. He is a musician and I basically get to hang out with a bunch of amazing musicians and watch them perform at fancy venues all weekend.

Finally, at the end of the month I get to take a deep breath and not go anywhere for a while. At least that’s the plan. 2012 has been nothing but excitement. Each time I’ve thought I could take a breath something else has been added to the list of things to do. What’s amazing is that almost all of the things are exciting. My life is continuing to be just as phenomenal as I told you before. Yesterday I started to complain about how busy I am going to be this month and then had to stop and realize how lucky I am. I may be a little stressed about packing, meeting new people and managing an internship and classes but whoa–the things I am going to be doing are so worth the extra work.

I’ll be sure to update in June with lots of fun photos of my May adventures. If you don’t hear from me this month, you know why.

Does anyone else have exciting summer plans?

 Reasons I Love Being Home

1. My abuelita complaining about the length of my skirt.

2. Delicious, stinky Mexican cheese–direct from Mexico–in the fridge.

3. Pets that are incredibly excited that I am home.

4. Parents that are incredibly excited that I am home.

5. An amazing view of the mountains.

6. The feel of the sun on my skin.

7. The smiling faces of mi familia.

8. Babies!

9. Family visiting all the time.

10. Watching the little ones grow up to be amazing little people.

11. The calm.

12. Friends that I’ve known for years and still make me laugh.

13. The Palo Verde tree in the backyard.

14. Grapefruit and oranges straight from the tree.

15. Hugs.

16. Spanish.

The past few weeks I have been on a life high. Every day has brought a new challenge and excitement. I am connecting with new people, learning in and out of school and accomplishing goals. Life is good.

Part of what is so amazing about this is that I haven’t felt this way in a long time. As evidenced here, I am an optimistic person, but this type of energy and enthusiasm for life has not lasted like this in years.

It is a combination of embracing my life as a single lady, truly beginning to understand the best way to approach my studies, the spring weather and my amazing friends. At this moment I feel that my life has no bounds. Whatever I want to do I am free to experience and enjoy.

In the last few weeks I have won third place at a trial competition (I presented an opening argument), danced the night away at Barrister’s Ball with my closest friends, secured a summer internship, baked tons of cupcakes for a good cause, met with phenomenal transgender women, met a million new people (Hi!), shared my cooking with friends, tackled the professional responsibility exam, engaged in interesting non-law school discussions, danced some more (hot on the dance floor!), wrote unique articles for The Commentary, excelled in my course work, kicked major ass playing dodgeball (4th place!), helped with a high school freshman mentor program and I ran for and won (unopposed!) a position on the Student Bar Association.

Seeing all of these things in list form is phenomenal. I could write an individual post about each of these things (maybe I will!). Not to mention all of the little things I didn’t mention like how clean my apartment has been, discovering cute new outfits, feeling more confident in my actions, getting Sugar chapstick in my March Birchbox and eating 100th birthday oreos.

Even things that would normally bring me down don’t phase me or are short lived complaints. When there are so many fabulous things I can’t possibly stay upset about being called names or the slight mishandling of an issue.

There are lots of terrible things going on in our country and world. Things that make my stomach hurt (and I will talk more about them here soon) and those things only reinforce how much privilege and blessings I have in my life. If my life is this great, then it must mean that I am doing things right and  am being given this energy and support so that I may help others. And that is exactly what I intend to do.

Look out for a million posts detailing the adventures above and a bunch more about social justice issues. In an effort to share more and worry about writing less I am going to try and post shorter blogs with more photos.

I hope each of you is experiencing immense joy in your life. And if not, I hope you can find it soon and while you look, I’ll be here, cheering you on.

In September I began writing for the school newspaper, The Commentary. It is the best decision I’ve made in law school. The friends I’ve made are awesome and hilarious, my writing has improved and I get to express my opinion about anything and everything. I also get a good deal of attention, which is good and bad.

The most recent issue featured an editorial by The Commentary editors, which I am one. In that editorial I am described as “the well-mannered-even-tempered-hot-on-the-dance-floor Grace G.” I did not write this, but I thought it was hilarious and had no problem leaving it in. Well mannered and even tempered I may be, but “hot on the dance floor” is certainly debatable.

Last week the paper was distributed around campus. Since then, every day I have received several comments from students. “So, Grace, you’re hot on the dance floor?” “Hey! Hot on the dance floor! Alright!” “Let’s go dancing!” etc. etc. It was even reported to me that a random, unknown student approached two friends of mine. While holding a copy of the paper he said, “Do either of you know Grace and is she really hot on the dance floor?”

Friends, this is apparently very important information.

On March 10th my law school is hosting a Barrister’s Ball, affectionately known as law school prom. Of course, I am going. The pressure is on. I’ve considered taking dance classes, but let’s be real–I don’t have the time or money for that. I will, however, be stepping up my game during my morning dance party. I may even add an afternoon section. And since my mom’s after school program has shuffling classes on Friday’s I may take a crash course one weekend. Those ten year old’s know their stuff.

No matter my progress I’ll still be dancing, but if you are attending Barrister’s Ball, I expect you to have a few (or more) drinks before we make it to the dance floor.

In May I am going to Vegas. This is not something I do often, nor care to do. But in May there is a great reason, an excellent, stupendous reason. Bloggers in Sin City (BiSC).

As most of you know I’ve been running this little site since April 2009. Around that same time, Nicole decided that the world needed a conference with a focus on personal bloggers and she created BiSC. I saw the pictures on Katelin’s blog that year and realized that by starting my blog I was opening the door to countless friendships.

Since then I have met amazing people through blogging and learned new things about myself. Publishing my writing on the internet has been scary and exhilarating. This stuff doesn’t go away. As bubblegum as many of my posts are they are still here forever and that’s a big deal.

This year for the first time I have some extra cash and the time to go to Vegas. I’ll still be in school but with a light course load and a serious need for a break.

I can’t wait to meet so many of the bloggers I have come to love over the years. And to give big hugs to those I miss from my time in DC.

I’m writing this to share my excitement and also to share that BiSC is holding a contest for a free registration to the event. Paper’d, a new app for iphone wallpapers, is being launched that weekend. In honor of this launch, they are paying for one lucky BiSC attendee. Here’s hoping I’ll go to Vegas with extra cash in my pocket, but even if I don’t I know that it is going to be worth every cent.

Are you going to BiSC this year? Any other fun summer plans? 

Happy Friday!

New Years Eve was a bit haphazard this year. A dear friend was able to visit and then not visit at the last minute. It was a bummer because I love her so and we’ve spent several new years together (pesky dog sitters cancelling). That left Kiley and I to create plans on our own. Fortunately, after a year of intense law school friendship, we were still able to piece together a great evening.

We started out visiting Kiley’s cousin at Applebee’s. Not the typical new years destination but it was nice to see her lovely cousin and got us out of the house before 9. Then we had a light dinner at The Linkery. Delicious food. The tag line is “where the elite eat meat.” Very true. It’s a bit pricey but the fresh, local meat is scrumptious.

Our next stop was the grocery store where we picked up a frozen dessert and more champagne. The dessert-a brownie ice cream sundae-was surprisingly good. We then headed to a friends house for champagne and dancing. We laughed, talked, danced and took silly pictures until well past midnight. It was a nice way to ring in the new year.